choices and travels

COLLISION IS TOMORROW!!!!!!!

please excuse the caps lock and middle school exclamation points. I feel like my momther in that period she went through where whatever computer she used had to be on caps lock. I hated getting on and writing an entire passage, paper, irrelevant article, etc. to then look and find i was SEEMINGLY SCREAMING IT ALL. On behalf of my excitement i apologize. There is no other way to fully show you dear loves how ready i am for collision! But i'm afraid i have a dire problem.....

I don't know what suitcase to use. Call in the troops this is a biggie.

If you didn't know i collect vintage luggage, so im struggling here. Should i undergo lugging around my fabulous hardcase samsonites? And if that is the decision what color? Blue?Yellow?Pink? And then What size? Medium?Large? The train case as well? Oh lawd. I won't be able to sleep tonight with all this pressure....

What are some good fall break destinations for a bunch of high school kids? Lavergne Loves Leaving Lavergne. Senior edition 2010. We should make shirts, eh? The group we have right now is leaning towards Florida with a side trip of some major intense disney Worlding.

David Crowder: How He Loves Us

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.


We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

my god is great

Matt Redman - You Never Let Go
From the album Passion 06: Everything Glorious

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus:

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Chorus: (2x’s)

put it on repeat. sing it at the top of your lungs. love the sound of praise you offer because he deserves it.

is it shocking to realize "you can see god tonight... if you wanna"? do you believe it? can you fully wrap your mind around the fact that a god so great is so available so often, as in always. I often have to ask myself: Why are you fighting so hard for yourself? Is fighting for my happiness on Earth really more important when God has already prepared a home for me? Why do you spend so much time fighting for ourself when you should be fighting for yourself? It's a conviction i have recently been finding myself repeating in times of need. I have lately been so incontent with the typical life i lead and i forget god put me in this exact place for a very specific reason, to share his truth, not to endulge in the "good life". I am all about me. Shamelessly i ask god for whatever my heart desires. Gracefully he always gives it to me. I deserve none of what i have. Questioning god on his timing makes it all about me. why do i find myself always coming back to me? I am more into me. My god is too small. I have put him in a neatly labeleed box.... But my god is not time. He is the only constant, the great I AM. My god does not stop, will not stop. He does not die, is not born. My gos is neverending and allpowerful. My god overcomes.

And if my god is with me, Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?

back to the start

Im trying hard to return to what i used to be.

its not easy turning back time

please continue to root for me.

you're what gets me through the day.

my private little cheer team

even when i cant withhold my own

Your smiles break down my fragile walls

and you prove they needent be built like others said.

i was fine from the beginning

nothing needed to change

you aid me in my backwards building.

we take the "fixed" me apart,

brick by brick we take apart the me they wanted me to be

thank you.

a revolutionary does not drag his broke chains behind him

a bird is not burdened by weight in flight

i do not blame you for blind sights

for better or for worse, you have changed me

Private Jazmyn

so today i shadowed rainey at ezell. Basically that means i followed her around like a puppy dog all day and sat in her classes. i did it because lavergne fails and i have recently been surveying my other options and decided to get me a look see. this deserves a list of my day's highlights and what ive learned.

• the differences between my public school and their private school were smaller than i preconceived. What i thought was the grand canyon was really just a crack in the pavement. Class was the same. People were the same just in different ways. instead of being ghetto they enjoyed a different sphere of stereotype. overall i really enjoyed the people there. they seemed to welcome me genuinely. Plus, there's some real jokers there, they had me crying in 4th period!!! not to mention all those pretty boys. Not hot. these boys were just darn pretty to look at. i wouldnt mind seeing that everyday!
• there were only like four hallways!
• the actual classes were pretty much the same as mine. well, except for bible class. that was a crazy one in a very good way. it involved calling for help, twister, stewart, and prostate exams. such a good mix!!!
• wonderful impressions
• its the small things i was so surprised by. for example:

1. before school started everyone just sat around alking. like the halls were literally like lined with people
2. they have actual school bells.
3. we walked down to the church next door and they trused noone would just leave
4. we ate outside. so adorable (they only have like 8 caf. tables btw; i cant even count ours)
5. they just leave their bags laying around. nobody steals them either. impressive.

• overall i think its too much of a sacrifice for my family and my personal loves to transfer schools just for the people. itd be too selfish and id miss out on a lot. no offense ezell- you have plenty to offer. dont tie me up in a uniform and hang me from the roof. i dont wanna pull out my black side on ya!
• i had a good day. maybe if it wasnt senior year. maybe if they had theater. maybe if i didnt already have to worry about college. but oh well. ill just keep on being a trooper at lavergne. its where im needed. keep on spreading the word

Anyways overall i learned that a school is a school, teenagers are all the same, and chemistry is universally sucky; no matter if a large gay black man is teaching it or not. So beef up Lavergne

Looks like you get another year and a half of this handful. As of now i think my two different sized feet will continue to walk the halls of lavergne. Ezell was fun while it lasted, thanks for the experience. ill forevermore be jealous of those plaid skirts! id invite you to my school but with mouths like that you boys would all be killed. But hey, who knows what could happen! My right now is here but my future could lead me there. i just gotta follow the follow brick road.

Turkey and times

Well, i had some blow your mind kinda stuff to share with those worthy patrons of this blog, even if thats only my imaginary friend and charlie, so be it. But unfortunatly i have to break the news to you... I have a problem. And its not one of those small dont even whine about it my shoes untied problems; its big.

bigger than my desire to witness the greatness that is wicked. and id marry that show if i could let me tell you.... so this problem is greatly great!

I dont know how to put videos and pictures on this darn blog.

i know you must feel deprived without seeing my life insubsequent (i think i just made that word up) pixels and moving scenes. i know, i feel your pain. id long for it too if i were you. But fear not! im sure some valiant hero will come to m rescue after reading this and free you from undergoing anymore stress about the situation. but, until then eat some taco bell. i sure would like some.

mmmm chalupa!

Wicked

(Elpheba):
I'm limited
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us - now it's up to you...

(Glinda):
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

(Glinda):
Because I knew you

(Both):
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

(Glinda):
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

(Both):
And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda):
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

(Elphaba):
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both):
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda):
And because I knew you...

(Elphaba):
Because I knew you...

(Both):
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...

Teddy Bears and radical revolutionaries

listen up kids, this is important :D

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. who strived valiantly... who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in  worthy cause; who at the best knows that in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victor nor defeat"

- Theodore Roosvelt