So life latelty.... it's been a little less than easy but nevertheless great!
Sometimes it just completely blinds me on how blessed i am
Ive been reading the purpose driven life for awhile now... but i hadnt picked it up in a week or two... well about an hour ago i did and hit an ephiphany!! so ive been dealing with a situation for a little while. nothing major just a little argument i wasnt exactly sure how to handle. but then i picked this book up and started on the chapter id left on and guess what it was about... handling confrontations and rebuilding friendships the right way!!!! its funny how you can worry your head over something and the second you go to god about it its all fixed! i know better than to try and handle my own stress, i shouldnt have even dared thinking i could solve it! i know god is in control and he will do anything for me all i have to do is ask... so i did and he awnsered!! hes the best guy i know :))))))
allright well as im writing this im having some sort of a revelation..... let m,e put my thoughts into words... i will excuse any slobber on the keyboard just incase i happen to bore you to sleep ;)
okay well.... im the nice girl or so ive been told. im not mean to people even if they deserve it. i dont physically recognize anger. the closest i know to unhappiness is stress but thats just cause i worry too much. but im several ways im a bit of a doormat. i let things slide just to keep everyone happy and out of arguments. i just want peace. so heres my question: how do you balance being the nice girl and standing up for what you deserve instead of giving others the trust they dont deserve? where do you draw the line? Where do you decide to stop having so much faith and hope in people because youve learned you only get hurt and dissapointed in the end, where do you decided to let them fend for their own, where do you sit back and watch the monstosity generation grow? When do you give up and sit back? When do you decided to staop sacrificing your heart for the growth of others? When do you decided to protect yourself from the pain people cause you just because you were being nice? YOU DONT! i dont.
lately ive been being critisized for being nice. Now my good friends, thats another story. they love me for exactly who am i and support me every inch of the way and i thank you guys for that! :D but recently i was brought tho the fact of this: noone thinks like me.
its strange. its not very comforting. its terrifying actually. but i think i know why im alone... i was trusted with some information thats not supposed to be left a secret. im just a messenger
so yes i am completely aware that being nice will get me hurt. i fully understand that always taking the blame and never letting others be mad at me will tarnish my pride. im fine with that i dont need pride. i am absolutly willing to comfront the danger, heartbreak, and tears being noce will lead me to because maybe, just maybe one "little naiive girl" could change your view on the world. the odds are against me im facing giants but its possible. being nice may not be smart... but its right.
whew okay so illl let you in on something.... i never knew i was gonna write all that.... i never thought some of those thoughts before now. theyre brand new and just as confusing to me as they are to you. So what do you say we go on this journey together? eh, nice people uniting against the big bad world? ha. sounds like a plan
heres about half of the tom sawyer pics too btw. :D
okay nvm i dunno how to do this.... advice?????
anyways love love love
jordan
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