back to the start

Im trying hard to return to what i used to be.

its not easy turning back time

please continue to root for me.

you're what gets me through the day.

my private little cheer team

even when i cant withhold my own

Your smiles break down my fragile walls

and you prove they needent be built like others said.

i was fine from the beginning

nothing needed to change

you aid me in my backwards building.

we take the "fixed" me apart,

brick by brick we take apart the me they wanted me to be

thank you.

a revolutionary does not drag his broke chains behind him

a bird is not burdened by weight in flight

i do not blame you for blind sights

for better or for worse, you have changed me

Private Jazmyn

so today i shadowed rainey at ezell. Basically that means i followed her around like a puppy dog all day and sat in her classes. i did it because lavergne fails and i have recently been surveying my other options and decided to get me a look see. this deserves a list of my day's highlights and what ive learned.

• the differences between my public school and their private school were smaller than i preconceived. What i thought was the grand canyon was really just a crack in the pavement. Class was the same. People were the same just in different ways. instead of being ghetto they enjoyed a different sphere of stereotype. overall i really enjoyed the people there. they seemed to welcome me genuinely. Plus, there's some real jokers there, they had me crying in 4th period!!! not to mention all those pretty boys. Not hot. these boys were just darn pretty to look at. i wouldnt mind seeing that everyday!
• there were only like four hallways!
• the actual classes were pretty much the same as mine. well, except for bible class. that was a crazy one in a very good way. it involved calling for help, twister, stewart, and prostate exams. such a good mix!!!
• wonderful impressions
• its the small things i was so surprised by. for example:

1. before school started everyone just sat around alking. like the halls were literally like lined with people
2. they have actual school bells.
3. we walked down to the church next door and they trused noone would just leave
4. we ate outside. so adorable (they only have like 8 caf. tables btw; i cant even count ours)
5. they just leave their bags laying around. nobody steals them either. impressive.

• overall i think its too much of a sacrifice for my family and my personal loves to transfer schools just for the people. itd be too selfish and id miss out on a lot. no offense ezell- you have plenty to offer. dont tie me up in a uniform and hang me from the roof. i dont wanna pull out my black side on ya!
• i had a good day. maybe if it wasnt senior year. maybe if they had theater. maybe if i didnt already have to worry about college. but oh well. ill just keep on being a trooper at lavergne. its where im needed. keep on spreading the word

Anyways overall i learned that a school is a school, teenagers are all the same, and chemistry is universally sucky; no matter if a large gay black man is teaching it or not. So beef up Lavergne

Looks like you get another year and a half of this handful. As of now i think my two different sized feet will continue to walk the halls of lavergne. Ezell was fun while it lasted, thanks for the experience. ill forevermore be jealous of those plaid skirts! id invite you to my school but with mouths like that you boys would all be killed. But hey, who knows what could happen! My right now is here but my future could lead me there. i just gotta follow the follow brick road.

Turkey and times

Well, i had some blow your mind kinda stuff to share with those worthy patrons of this blog, even if thats only my imaginary friend and charlie, so be it. But unfortunatly i have to break the news to you... I have a problem. And its not one of those small dont even whine about it my shoes untied problems; its big.

bigger than my desire to witness the greatness that is wicked. and id marry that show if i could let me tell you.... so this problem is greatly great!

I dont know how to put videos and pictures on this darn blog.

i know you must feel deprived without seeing my life insubsequent (i think i just made that word up) pixels and moving scenes. i know, i feel your pain. id long for it too if i were you. But fear not! im sure some valiant hero will come to m rescue after reading this and free you from undergoing anymore stress about the situation. but, until then eat some taco bell. i sure would like some.

mmmm chalupa!